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Turds & Blossoms: Doug Hughes’ Pedophile Island

May 19, 2010 - 8:58 am

Maybe killer whales could keep sex offenders from leaving Santa Rosa Island.

On the occasion of arts editor Seth Combs’ departure, I’m letting him dole out doodoos to Douglas Hughes, a fringe candidate for governor. Here’s a brief dialogue Seth imagined (slightly edited) and sent to us in an e-mail:

“Hey, honey, where do you want to take the kids on vacation?”

“”How about Disneyland?”

“That sounds great, dear. After that, maybe we can sail to Pedophile Island.”

“Oh, I hear it’s beautiful this time of year.”

Seth’s making fun of Hughes’ published promise to California called, “Pedophile Removal Stops Child Rape.” What is pedophile removal? Hughes explains:

As governor I will introduce legislation to impose mandatory expulsion of convicted pedophiles from the State of California as a condition of release from prison.

Pedophiles in the State of California will have three (3) choices:

1. Leave our State of California permanently;

2. Live on Santa Rosa Island (a self supporting community for pedophiles and sexual offenders);

3. Remain in prison for life

Additionally, I will introduce legislation prohibiting registered or unregistered pedophiles from entering California.

He identifies Santa Rosa Island as his preferred location for “Pedophile Island.”

OK, so the idea is ludicrous in its legal and Constitutional ramifications. And the location is ludicrous since Santa Rosa Island is part of the Channel Islands National Park and, therefore, under federal, not state, ownership. It’s also a hiking, hunting and camping destination.

T&B concurs with Combs: A dozen turds to Doug.

Additionally, I will introduce legislation prohibiting registered or unregistered pedophiles from entering California.
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4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 19, 2010 - 9:31 am 9:31 am

    So, I assume you’re ok with how the state of CA deals with pedophiles now?

  2. May 19, 2010 - 12:08 pm 12:08 pm

    It ain’t an either/or proposition. One can believe the laws need an overhaul, while holding the opinion that this idea blows.

    If I proposed a plan by which we rubbed magic lamps and then asked the blue spirit that sounds like Robin Williams to cure pedophiles and you thought that idea was stupid, would you necessarily be “ok” with the way CA deals with sex offenders?

    • May 19, 2010 - 5:05 pm 5:05 pm

      I’m not saying it was a great idea.

      Since you criticized his proposal, I was just wondering what your position/solution would be?

  3. morangreg permalink
    May 19, 2010 - 1:51 pm 1:51 pm

    The last part is the best: the legislation prohibiting “registered or unregistered” pedophiles from entering the state. Unregistered. Classic.

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